Mike Bibby, Ghoulish Clown, Will Miss 6-8 Weeks.

Hot-ass breaking newzzz that Mike Bibby will not be endlessly hoisting threes for the Sacramento Kings and/or your ailing fantasy squad for the immediate future. Possessed by the ghost of Cesar Romero, Bibby will undergo 6-8 weeks of intensive exorcism, in hopes of ridding the 6'2 point-guard of the freakish spectre of one of history's most frightening clowns, a "murderously insane supervillain" whose evil, evil presence is believed to have effected the ten-year-veteran's three-point stoke through the exhibition season.

Whilst the Kings're heading for the NBA's toilet, post haste, the Bibble pine-time will, of course, shift fantasy values elsewhere on the roster. As always, it'll be a ripple effect: Ron Artest —a known coulrophobic— will probably do more playmaking, Kevin Martin will get more shots off, Brad Miller will push more little guys to the ground, and Quincy 'Light It Up' Douby should get some sweet, sweet burn. But two guys stand to benefit most from the absence of Pogo The Clown: Francisco Garcia and John 'For Some Reason I Pronouce The L' Salmons.

Salmons has played plenty of point in his career, and is a happy facilitator; a 'blender' who'll always give the ball up (possibly b'cause of his, uh, 'so so' shooting stroke). And, in his career, Johnny Sal has shown he's at his best when star teammates go missing; he seemingly only playing well in the absence of the Answer in Philadelphia, and, last year, performing admirably when Ron-Ron was on the bench. In his 19 starts last year, Salmons posted 11.9 PPG, 4.1 RPG, 4.0 APG, and 1.2 SPG. Should Salmons either become starter, or log major 30+ type minutes off the bench, he'll become a legit, solid fantasy play.

Garcia is more the 'sleeper' in this scenario; a guy who'd be unowned even in deep fantasy leagues at the point. Unless, of course, one of the GMs therein rode him down-the-stretch last campaign. For, Garcia would've earnt quite the cult following amongst statsheet geeks for the two-week turn he submitted in the season's closing days; aka: fantasy basketball finals. Over the 9 Sacto dribbles in the season's final fortnight, Garcia went for: 15.0 PPG, 5.4 RPG, 3.2 APG, 0.9 SPG, 1.0 BPG, and 1.2 3PG, with sweet percentages from the floor (48.4), deep (37.9%), and the line (90.3%). Yet, what makes this line so glowing is that Garcia did it in just 28.9 MPG, including only 3 starts. With Bibby out, Garcia could be pressed into extra minutes, and, quite possibly, could average said 29 per night. And, it's possible that Franny Glass could even run some one; new coach Bill Fuller having been an assistant at Louisville when Rick Pitino played the skinny Dominican at the lead guard spot. Whilst Salmons is the solid bet, at this point, Garcia is the make-good gamble; especially for anyone blessed with a league bearing either a deep bench and/or extra-large rosters.

Of course, when Bibby arrives —like foreign mail-order— in 6-8 weeks, all of this will change again. Except for the fact that Sacramento, on the floor, will be horrific this year; Evil Clown at point or no.