Random Fantasy Explosions: Week One.

So, you spend all that time scouring summer-league scores, tightening up your rankings, and prognosticating on forthcoming on-court exploits, and then the season comes, and you throw all that out the window. Mere days into the season, and already some players are playing way above anyone’s anticipated productivity.

MIKE DUNLEAVY JR., Pacers.
Through three undefeated Indiana outings, Lil’ Dunny is leading the League-leading Pacers from the fore, averaging an unbelievable 22.3 PPG, 9.0 RPG, 3.7 APG, and 1.3 3PG, all whilst shooting 49.0% from the floor and 40.0% from behind the arc. If we’re to go strictly by those numbers, I don’t think it’s out-of-line to posit that, at some point over the summer, Dirk Nowitzki took possession of Junior Mikey’s sexy, sexy body.

DANNY GRANGER, Pacers.
Sure, we all love Granger’s game, and many fantasy pundits would’ve posited that the lithe wing could’ve entered the magical one three/steal/block per-game club this campaign. But after his second year wasn’t really much of a marked improvement on his first, many more had reservations about whether Granger’d be much more than an effective blender. Yet, the second-year stud’s performance for Jim O’Brien’s crazy Pacers bonanza might nearly be as surprising as Lil’ Dunny’s. In three Indy wins, Granger’s gone gonzo for: 22.7 PPG, 8.7 RPG, 1.7 SPG, 1.3 BPG, and 3.3 3PG, with percentages of exactly 50/50/80. Chances are, if you own Granger in your fantasy league, you’re doing about as well on the scoreboards as Indiana is.

BRENDAN HAYWOOD, Wizards.
If Haywood is unowned in your fantasy league, he’s the elephant in the room that no one’s talking about. Pick him up, right now. Through three games, the almost-coordinated former Tarheel towel-waver has more than twice as many offensive rebounds (25), than the decaying corpse of Ben Wallace has total rebounds (11). As it stands, Etan ‘Dear Andrew’ Thomas’s sparring partner is going for 10.0 PPG, 13.7 RPG, 3.0 BPG, and an ass-reamingly astonishifying 8.3 ORPG. If Dan Grunfeld’s Dad’d known that the long-term absence of Thomas would compel Haywood into this kind of productivity, Ernie not only wouldnt’ve matched that Bucks offersheet back in the day, but would’ve personally bought Etan a gift of ‘going-away’ bratwurst. That said, maybe he still will; sausage the perfect heart-clogging present for a guy you suddenly may be wishing ain’t coming back any time soon.

JOHN SALMONS, Kings.
Whilst the Bibby injury and Artest suspension obviously stepped Salmons up in terms of his offensive responsibility, I don’t think anyone was quite prepared for the ever-quiet guard to erupt for 21.0 PPG, 5.3 RPG, 6.3 APG, 1.3 SPG, 53.2 FG% and 92.9 FT% through the first three Kings Kontests. With Coach Bill Fuller suddenly realising that most of his roster is for-shit —see Kenny Thomas, Shareef Abdur-Rahim, Orion Greene— Salmons’ burn won’t even sink too far once Ron-Ron returns.

HEDO TURKOGLU, Magic.
Having been happy to draft the not-so-fat Turk in a head-to-head league this past week, it’s hard for me to include Hedo herein; doing so immediately implying that I wasn’t expecting this when making the pick. And, well, it’s true: expecting this I was not. Through three games for Stan’s Men of Magic, Turkeyglue is doing: 22.0 PPG, 5.7 RPG, 4.3 APG, 1.3 SPG, and 2.7 3PG at 53.3 3PT%. With mondo minutes coming to the Turk all year long, he has the chance to be really, really good well beyond week one.