My PHD (Player Hater Degree).

Statistics, statistics, statistics. It’s hard to turn anywhere on the internerd’s wires in this new-millennial fantasy-freak’d era and not be overwhelmed by all kinds of wacky statistickry; all manner of eggheads with theorems and calculators quantifying and pace-adjusting in search of some kind of numerical truth. These are sometimes would-be academics, oftentimes just actual academics; so many PHDs being, after all, nothing but statistics, statistics, statistics. But, as fantasy owner, you don’t need no PHD, just a Player Hater Degree. So, hey, let loose, let loose your love/hate. With statistics that —as is the statistical way— say exactly what you want them to say!

Percentage of games in which Dwight Howard had a 30/15:
2006/07: 2.4%
2007/08: 23.5%

Percentage of games in which LeBron James hung 40 or more points:
2006/07: 1.2%
2007/08: 18.7%

Percentage of games in which Michael Redd had both 5+ rebounds and assists:
2006/07: 3.7%
2007/08: 38.4%

Percentage of games Tyson Chandler grabbed 14+ rebounds:
2006/07: 32.8%
2007/08: 13.3%

Percentage of games Ronnie Brewer played 30+ minutes:
2006/07: 1.7%
2007/08: 50.0%

Percentage of games Kirk Hinrich didn’t hit a three-pointer:
2006/07: 16.2%
2007/08: 38.4%

Percentage of games Kirk Hinrich scored 20+ points:
2006/07: 37.5%
2007/08: 0.0%

Percentage of games Ben Gordon scored 30+ points:
2006/07: 18.2%
2007/08: 0.0%

Percentage of games Ben Wallace had 14+ rebounds:
2006/07: 24.6%
2007/08: 0.0%

Percentage of games Zach Randolph had more turnovers than assists:
2006/07: 73.1%
2007/08: 90.0%

Percentage of games Eddy Curry had more turnovers than assists:
2006/07: 92.5%
2007/08: 84.6%

Percentage of games David Lee played over 25 minutes:
2006/07: 72.4%
2007/08: 30.7%

Percentage of games David Lee had 12+ rebounds:
2006/07: 43.1%
2007/08: 15.3%

Percentage of games Pau Gasol dragged down single figure rebounds:
2006/07: 44.0%
2007/08: 80.0%

Percentage of games Richard Jefferson posted 25 points or better:
2006/07: 9.2%
2007/08: 66.6%

Percentage of games Raymond Felton had a 20/10 double-double:
2006/07: 2.5%
2007/08: 23.0%

Percentage of games Andre Miller had 8+ assists:
2006/07: 53.1%
2007/08: 7.1%

Percentage of games Andrei Kirilenko had 8+ assists:
2006/07: 0.0%
2007/08: 31.2%

Percentage of games Lamar Odom had 5+ assists:
2006/07: 48.2%
2007/08: 0.0%

Percentage of games Mehmet Okur posted 17+ points:
2006/07: 57.5%
2007/08: 6.2%

Percentage of games in which Jason Collins totalled at least 5 points and 5 rebounds:
2006/07: 6.2%
2007/08: 0.0%

Percentage of games in which Jason Collins went scoreless whilst playing over 20 minutes:
2006/07: 17.5%
2007/08: 38.4%

Percentage of games in which Jason Collins played more than 20 minutes whilst Sean Williams played less than 20 minutes:
2006/07: N/A
2007/08: 61.5%

Percentage of Nets games in which Sean Williams looked utterly electrifying whilst Jason Collins embarrassed all friends and family watching:
2006/07: N/A
2007/08: 100%

Percentage of NBA players whom I could come up with some sort of sardonic percentage-based statistic on:
2006/07: etc.
2007/08: etc.