The Boxscore Watchin'!: The Season Is On.

Two days into the NBA, and a decent number of teams already on the slate, and we've so much to learn about the new NBA season.

MIKE CONLEY JR., NOT QUITE THE SECOND COMING OF KENNY ANDERSON YET.
Not only does Mike Conley Jr remind me ever so much of Kenny A —the tiny frame, the snaking quickness, the leftie dribble, the pure PG's vision, the inability to hit jumpers— but before the year I thought he was in line to replicate Anderson's rookie numbers: 7.0 PPG, 3.2 APG, copious struggles from the floor, much learning to be done. But, now, even those expectations may need to be tempered. Whilst game 1 doesn't always have much bearing on the next 81, it's certainly worth noting that Conley didn't even check into the contest. Damon Stoudamire, who manned the point for much of the run, went for 18/4/4, with 4 threes. Kyle Lowry, as backup, continued to reinforce the idea that he's actually a triple-double threat anytime he gets enough burn. And Conley watched on. Playing for a Grizzlies squad that, at the moment, seems more like a veteran group with playoff aspirations than a rebuilding unit blooding a teenaged quarterback, I can't imagine Conley's minutes will pick up to the point of him being a fantasy contributor until sometime in the new year. And, this is meaningful. Because, it's likely, in your fantasy league, that someone did draft Conley, but no one drafted Stoudamire. Not-Quite-As-Mighty Mouse is, if you're seeking threes, a fine potential fantasy play at this point. Conley, well, not at all.

JASON COLLINS, NOT QUITE BEN WALLACE.
Did anyone else see Jason Collins working the blown-out 'fro for the Nets? Right as he was going head-to-head with a cornrow'd Ben Wallace? Watching the lumbering Collins thud around the court, hair barely moving with the 'momentum', Collins did little to provoke 'fear' in anything but the sinking hearts of Nets fans. Their club drafts Sean Williams, signs Jamal Magloire and Malik Allen, gets Nenad Krstic back from injury, and continues to develop Josh Boone... but look who's still there, his starting assignment seemingly etched in stone. Mr. 4 And 4 himself.

CLEVELAND, WORSE THAN YOU EVER COULD'VE IMAGINED.
Remember when Philly scrapped to the 2001 Finals, then got ousted in the first round the next season? Remember when Miami's title defence ended in a first-round sweep last year? Remember when the Cavaliers followed up their 2007 Finals berth with a season so mediocre you could barely believe it was the same team? That's where we're at. Dark clouds're gathering over Cleveland, and they're not dispersing anytime soon my friend. Troubled times lie ahead. For, this club has some of the worst collective karma you could possibly witness on the floor. I've already written that Bwon Bwon looks completely joyless, but I didn't realise that's extended to the whole team. They remind me of a group of friends who're all connected through one person, and then in that person's absence, they realise that actually have neither anything to say nor anything in common. So, unless life-of-the-party Anderson Varejão returns sometime soon, it's going to be an awkward, socially-maladjusted season for these first-round-ousters.

MAVS/CAVS II, THE RETURN BOUT WORTH SCOURING BOXSCORES FOR.
With the signing of the decaying corpse of Ju-Ju Hound Howard by Cubezzz, I'm eagerly awaiting the unspeakably confusing boxscore for the Cleveland/Dallas return bout. Hopefully it reads:
10:26  CLE - Layup by D. Jones. Assist: D. Jones
10:41  DAL - J. Howard made an 18-foot jumper from the left wing. Assist: J. Howard

LUKE RIDNOUR, WHERE HE BELONGS.
As any prognosticator —be they fantasy weenie or advance scout— could've told you was on the cards, Luke Ridnour ended up riding the pine for PJ's up-and-down Sonics. Lil' Chihuahua-Face himself, Dr. Earl Watson!, got the gig at the one, and, whilst he didn't exactly rekindly memories of his last game (6/15 threes!) against the Nuggets last season —with a sweet, sweet, 1/8 night from the floor— he does seem to be set as the starting guy. Fantasy cult hero Delonte West did little to dissuade his fervent following, with an impressive 19 point, 5 rebound night. Going into the season, the Sonics had many questions at many positions, and PG was a prime one. But, for the moment, we can know this: Ridnour will be riding the pine.

BOBBY SWIFT, DNP (BAD INK).
Ramblin' Bobby Swift, everyone's favourite seven-foot firecrotch, also copped all of 0 minutes for the Sonics against Denver; making good on my preseason dismissal of him. If you can't beat out Johan Petro for burn, I'm not sure you should qualify for any kind of 'fantasy sleeper' status.

J.J. WATCH: MAYBE NO LONGER NECESSARY.
8 MINS, 0/1 FG, 1 PF. So long, Dead Poet. Fantasy relevance never knew ye.