Extra! Extra! Kevin McHale Is Bad GM!

Hold the phones. We've got a breaking story here. Shocking, shocking news. Kevin McHale sucks at his job. The Minnesota GM has just phoned in his latest trade, and, yes, it involves him acquiring an ex-Celtic. Antoine Walker is on his way to Minneapolis, for who knows what reason.

Entering this campaign, it seemed the Timberwolves were finally in rebuilding mode; and, added to the swag of young farm-system prospects they copped from Boston for handing over their previously-untouchable Big Ticket, the Minnesota roster was blessed with something good: Theo Ratliff's $11.6mil expiring contract, and Ricky Davis's $6.8mil expiring contract. With that 18-odd million to go play with, the Timberwolves could bring in other quality players by a team looking to dump salary, could help facilitate mega-trades between other teams as a third-party, or could pawn off immediate cap-relief unto ready-to-deal franchises boasting a surplus of draft picks.

McHale accomplished a little of this when he swapped Ricky Davis with the Del Boca Vista Heat's Michael Doleac, himself the owner of $3.1mil expiring deal. For, Rilezzz —the oily, oily snake who has barely been criticised for his fawning, number-retiring treatment of Michael Jordan— threw in some future/financial considerations (draft picks, straight cash homie) to get that deal done. But, oh, wait, there was another part of the deal, Blackheart. The Heaters and the ex-Celtics swapped, uh, a pair of ex-Celtics; or, more aptly, a pair of putrescent pass-never big-guys whose rebounding totals rank somewhere south of suck-ass. Mark Blount for Antoine Walker. A fairly innocuous, highly comic exchange of guys who both honk more than a flock of migrating geese, this bit of the wheeling and/or dealing was also all about the Benoit Benjamins.

Blount has three years, $22mil left on his deal. 'Toine has four years, $39mil on his. So, wait, why did Kevin McHale agree to this? The Timberwolves had all the leverage. They're trying to suck this year, Miami's trying not to. They had the player that Rilezzz had targeted —sudden fantasy stud-in-waiting, Ricky Ricky! Davis— and didn't have to make the trade: Davis's contract was going to come off their cap at the end of the year, just like Doleac's. The Heat were the team in panic mode after an unspeakably awful exhibition slate had wrapt up at a glorious 0-7. Dwyane Wade wasn't walking through that door (yet), PJ Brown wasn't walking through that door (yet), and Tim Hardaway was too busy planning his Brokeback pilgrimage to Kananaskis Country, Alberta to come walking through that door, fans. The Heat had to do something, or else there was the distinct possibility that they could open the regular season with the decaying corpse of Penny Hardaway in the rotation.

Not only was Riley desperate to deal, but he was desperate to rid himself of Walker. Like, really. Check out this conditioning-related tanty Rilezzz recently threw for the benefit of the media, and the belittlement of his former All-Star: "It's beyond irritating. I'm beyond being irritated. I was irritated the first year when I signed him. I was really irritated last year. I'm beyond irritated. I don't have time to be irritated." Ladies and gentleman, Mr. Antoine 'Beyond Irritating!' Walker!

So, given the bad-hand Poo-Rile had handed himself —aching need to improve his roster's talent, yearning to be freed from Employee Number 8%-too-much-body-fat, the sudden realisation that Stan The Porn-Moustached Man has pulled the knives from his back and bounced back ready to kick his in-state ass— it's amazing that the Weasel was able to weasel so much out of someone who should've had no business helping him out. Not only was McHale dealing with a Laker-for-life, but he was dealing with someone down-on-his-luck, a desperate case in desperate straits.

So, given all that, why, in this Blount/Walker bit of the trade, does Kevvy give up a bad contract to take back a really, really, really bad contract? Why does he, essentially, do Rilezzz the favour? Why, oh why, oh why? In the (almost) words of Woody Guthrie: Because, because, because, because (he's Kevin McHale), goodbye, goodbye, goodbye.

The Boxscore Watchin'!: Day One.

Whilst there've been a couple of boxscores trickling over from Europe already, t'day marked the beginning of the preseason schedule, in earnest; meaning there were numerous games, numerous stories, and numerous lessons to learn. To the roundup!:

DAVID LEE, ISIAH'S SECOND-LEAST HATED WHITE PERSON (BEHIND JAMES DOLAN)!
Dearest Zekeypoo: I know it's been a difficult summer, and all, what with trying to work out the logistics of that weird Dan Dickau/Jared Jordan trade thing, and trying to sketch together the details of Jerome James's potential buyout, and trying to psych out Demetris Nichols into playing in Italy rather than daring to show up, and trying to find out Zach Randolph's whereabouts on the eve of camp, and trying to find a taker for Jared Jeffries and that stupid contract you signed him to last year, and trying to clarify the distinctions between men of different ethnicities using the word 'bitch' in reference to women of different ethnicities (and, whilst I've got you here, it's been bugging me all week: what if a half-Japanese, half-Kurdish man calls a half-Hawai'ian, half-Tibetan woman a bitch?), and trying to work out whether the phrase "very, very innocent" actually makes linguistic sense, and trying to come up with an offensive scheme that can possibly involve both Zach Randolph and Eddy Curry at the same time, but, I was wondering, over this long, hot, finally-over summer —the summer of intern love!— have you found a way to get David Lee on the court more than 29 minutes a game? Other than, y’know, hoping Eddy (No, not Whoopi Goldberg, silly! That guy with the heart defect!) injures his shoulder in training camp? I noticed you played Lee 31 minutes in tonight’s meaningless preseason game. Meaning, once the stakes get higher, he’s surely gonna play more, right? Like, you’re pretty much not going to sit him at all, no? Given how he’s, y’know, the team’s best player, and best defensive player, and best rebounder, and best off-the-ball player, and best passer on the nights when Stephon’s not quite ‘in the game’, and best hustler, and best source-of-inspiration, and best loved by the crowd. You’re not going to bench him in favour of, say, running Curry and Randolph together, endlessly, pig-headedly, even though it’s clear they’re not gelling, are you? Or bench him to try and ‘showcase’ James or Jeffries or Malik Rose for a trade that’ll never come, right? I’m sorry to ask. These questions are so dumb and obvious, but, for some reason, I feel the need to check in with you, just to make sure we’re on the same page. I know we are. I don’t give a fuck about white people, too. Even ones that average double-doubles in minutes limited only by coaching idiocy. Love, Stan, Your Biggest Fan.

J.J. REDICK, ALSO WHITE!
The other day I, in all my prognosticatory wisdom, spent whole paragraphs detailing why JJ Redick was a piss-in for fantasy-friendly role-player this season, breaking down the statistical reasons that everyone’s most favouritest ever Dookie would be a beloved addition to any final-round-picking fantasy squadron. Whilst tonight didn’t prove me wrong —30 minutes, 10 points, 1/3 threes— it did make me realise something that I should’ve thought of well before I ever committed those words to, uh, print (browser?). Cheering for JJ Redick is as much fun as you’d imagine. My public-declaration of Redick’s potential makes me feel like I should be pulling/rooting/other-double-entendres for him already, given that positive results would only validate my beliefs, and my opinions, and the very existence of this weblog. Yet, after one game, I’m wishing my own fantasy draft/s will roll around, so I can have people other than JJ to cheer for (I mean, other than just Eddie House). Like, last year, in one league, I drafted Mike Dunleavy Jr. Whilst his eventual output ended up justifying his selection, there was not a single day in the entire season when I felt excited to be owning Lil’ Dunny. Not to mention that every one of the 450-odd trades I proposed with Junior as part of the package were rejected with an Eatonesque viciousness by opposing GMs. Apparently, this painful life-lesson taught me nothing at all; for already I have talked myself into owning JJ Redick(!!!) for the forthcoming fantasy season. Thankfully, today’s boxscore watching has made me wake up to the obvious: to own the most abhorrent sporting poet this side of Stu Scott would be an utterly joyless experience, from day one.

MIAMI RUNS OUT D-LEAGUE SQUAD!
Ladies and gentleman, Michael Doleac! In the absence of Shaquille O'Neal, Udonis Haslem, Antoine Walker, Dwyane Wade, Smush Parker --a quintet that, you'd guess, will end up starting at least one game together, as five-man-unit, this season-- and top reserve Alonzo Mourning, Doleac was the only Riley-friendly member of the Del Boca Vista Heat's senior's circuit that hit the court; the Shufflin' Ute looking like he was working off about three years worth of rust in a (futile) attempt to prove he's more than just one big expiring contract with a blonde buzzcut. With the actual, y’know, team absent, Rilezzz actually got to trot out some limbre young legs in Miami's opening run; an 86-103, intensity-lacking pasting at the hands of the Pistons that was over early. Meaning, Daequan Cook actually got on the court; something that, rest assured, won't happen once the season begins. Whilst Dorell Wright, of course!, impressed in his game-high 31 minutes --9 points, 4 rebounds, 5 assists, 2 steals, 3 blocks-- the rest of the roster resembled guys gunning it in a glorified open tryout; the Heat having less NBA-calibre talent on the floor than last April's Milwaukee Bucks. In regards to such: Marcus Slaughter got a jump on playing his way into one of the vacant roster-spots, and tiny Brian Chase looked roughly a dozen times better than Chris Quinn, the babyfaced Irishman who rather looks a dead roster-spot walking. A question for another day: how on earth did Chris Quinn get an NBA shot, whilst Chris Thomas never did? Oh, and, PS: Penny Hardaway = DNP-CD.

NO-NECK JOHNSON, WORST PLAYER TO EVER SCORE 40 IN A PLAYOFF GAME!
Not that there’s anything wrong with being the Hawks’ fourth-string point-guard, or going 0/5 with 0 assists in 10 pre-season minutes, or, for that matter, in having no neck, but, um, could it really have only been 17 months ago that No-Neck Johnson was hanging 40 points on Jason Kidd’s large head in a playoff game? Wha’ Happened? The guy who was stumbling, stiff-legged, about for Atlanta tonight looked like he’d have trouble scoring 40 points in a one-on-none game, let alone someone who can be counted on for ever coming close to that, ever again, in an NBA game. With Speedy Claxton roughly five minutes away from his latest broken bone, and Acie Law IV seeming like a rather suspect lottery selection, once more Atlanta fans, in their teeming dozens, are anxiously awaiting the return of Tyronn Lue.

Breakout Performers.

Forget ‘sleepers’, the below guys are guaranteed to be far more productive than they were last year. As any good Fantasy GM knows, the key contributing factor in any player’s potential output —other than whether they can actually, y’know, play— is opportunity. Per-minute averages mean little if someone doesn’t get on the court; and recent years have found plenty of highly-talented guys buried deep on benches (Tyrus Thomas, James Singleton et al), all whilst tools like Smush Parker become solid fantasy contributors based solely on the fact that their coach, for reasons known only to he, is playing them major minutes. All of these cats will be blessed with plenty of minutes in the coming year; they handed golden opportunities to step right up for the 07/08 campaign.

LAMARCUS ALDRIDGE, Trailblazers.
Zach Randolph’s joined Eddy Curry in New York for a frightening frontcourt redux of the Starbury/Stevie backcourt (Isiah apparently having not yet learnt that bringing in a borderline all-star with questionable motivational issues to play alongside another borderline all-star with questionable motivational issues whose skill-set he duplicates exactly is a bad idea). Greg Oden, bless his 100-year-old soul, is at home playing video-games. And Raef LaFrentz, the old Beaker, is coming off a 27-game, 3.7 PPG campaign. So, my friends, suddenly someone is going to get a whole heap of interior touches for those erstwhile Bail-raisers. Whilst Channing Frye looms as an intriguing end-of-the-draft sleeper, LaMarcus Aldridge is the guy who’s definitely going to get the mighty stat-bump this season. Brandon Roy could’ve easily earned pride-of-place on this list, for he’ll likely be doing 20/5/5 as the Blazers’ main man; but he’s already ranked #36 overall (ahead of Joe Johnson, for example), and had a very productive rookie campaign, so the word’s is already out on the ROY. Aldridge is another story. His rookie totals aren’t up to much; he only posted 9 and 5 on his debut trip around the league. But in 14 games as a starter through the whole of March, LaMarcus and his crazy-high release-point clocked in for nightly totals of 15.6 PPG, 8.2 RPG, and 1.7 BPG, at 55.5% from the floor. With a year under his belt, and the trust of Nate McMillan earned, the lanky Longhorn could easily duplicate those numbers across an entire season. And, in the absence of Oden, it’s conceivable that his averages could actually end up even better. Whilst Aldridge has yet to, in either college or the pros, show any semblance of durability, at the moment you can take a flyer on this top-50-potential C in as late as the 8th round.

RANDY FOYE, Timberwolves.
The Mike James for Juwan Howard trade sent out one message loud-and-clear: Kevin McHale is an atrocious GM. Oh, wait, and another: the T-Pups are hitching their wagon to Randy Foye’s budding star. Whilst the new-look Minnesota lineup is overloaded on the wings, and filled with camp-battles up front, all Foye need do to claim the starting PG job is beat out Bassy ‘playing-my-way-to-Spain’ Telfair. Whilst his 10/3/3 rookie turn hardly turned heads —especially when coupled with 1.9 TO per night— it should be noted that at no point of the season did he have a defined role; be that full-time point-guard and/or instant-offence off the bench. Even his post All-Star break numbers, those so often the key to young guys primed for a breakout, aren’t much better than his season totals: 11.8 PPG, 2.6 RPG, 3.5 APG, and 1.1 3PFG in 25 MPG. But, the games in which Foye played over 30 minutes, his numbers were more robust: 15.4 PPG, 4.9 RPG, 5.6 APG, and 1.3 3PFG. And, for a guy who shot 43.3% for the year, his final 16 games show an interesting FG% return: 50.0% exactly. Whilst Foye’s numbers don’t project out to superstardom, there is plenty of reason for optimism: the clearing-out of James and Troy Hudson, the youth movement that places Foye and Al Jefferson as Minnesota’s key young pieces, and the simple fact that Foye is entering his second season, the year in which almost all ballers make a quantum leap in terms of production. With the added minutes and responsibilities coming his way in the Twin Cities this season, Foye will likely average somewhere upwards of 15 PPG; a nice number for a guy currently ranked at #138 on the Yahoo! game. But his real value will come if Foye can make his assist/turnover ratio something a little less hideous than 1.52, can hit well over 100 threes, and can continually get to the line, where his 85.4% holds great value. If he does all the above, Foye’ll make a lot of fantasy owners happy.

COREY MAGGETTE, Clippers.
Corey Maggette didn’t exactly have an off-year last time out. He played in 75 games, highest since his rookie season. He averaged 17 PPG, 6 RPG, and continued to camp out at the charity stripe, his 519 FTM the 3rd-highest total in the entire league (behind only Kobe Bryant and Gilbert Arenas). Yet, for much of the year, Maggette was a question-mark. Seemingly on the outer with Clippers coach Mike Dunleavy, the randy Dookie was reduced to openly wondering why he’d been consigned to a 6th-man role, and to ‘demanding’ unlikely-to-be-granted trade requests. But once Dum-Dum-leavy’s lightbulb finally went off, and he realised that Maggette was his second-best player —making him a permanent starter following the All-Star break— Are You Ready For Maggette? put up some seriously impressive numbers. In 28 post-ASG appearances, all but one of them starts, the SF hung up 20.3 PPG, 6.0 RPG, 4.1 APG, 1.2 SPG, and made an ungodly 217 FTM at 79.7%. Long known as a free-throw machine, Maggette hit 7.7 FTM per night over that stretch; an average that would’ve been 4th-best on the whole year (trailing Bryant, Arenas, and Dwyane Wade). With Elton Brand due to miss a monster portion of the season —even optimistic progress reports have him down as a March returnee— Maggette goes from being the Clippers’ 6th-man, as he started last season, to being their #1 guy. Without Brand on hand, Maggette will clearly be the first option on offence for the Clippers; his ability to live at the free-throw line almost as good as dumping it down to a low-post bruiser. And, without Brand in the post —and no obvious replacement on hand to fill in at the four— it’s possible that the Clippers will push the pace this year; which should also contribute to Maggette getting plentiful opportunities. At worst, you’d imagine he’s heading for numbers very similar to his 04/05 campaign: 22 PPG, 6 RPG, 3 APG, 1 SPG, and 8 FTM each night. But, minus the big guy in the middle, it’s possible Maggette could do even more. Yet, going into camp, Yahoo! has him ranked #106 in the game. Needless to say, if you’re drafting soon, get on it.

RAJON RONDO, Celtics.
Yeah, so everyone knows it already. Rondo is on the way up. When your franchise trades 8 players away to get two, anyone left is going to get more minutes. Even if the two guys brought in are Kevin Garnett and Ray Allen. As the only legit PG on the Celtics roster, Rondo looks to be the most obvious recipient of the wheeling-and-dealing; he looking to be a guy who makes the most of opportunities created when trading for a superstar. When Tracy McGrady arrived in Houston, Jimmy Jackson stepped into the cavernous opening and had one great fantasy campaign. When Miami cleared out a crew of dudes in a deal for Shaq, former benchwarmers like Udonis Haslem, Damon Jones, and Rasual Butler made the most of the suddenly-available tick. And Rondo, despite his detractors, is set to do the same this year. Whilst Eddie House —who’s, shhhh!, a fantasy super-sleeper no one’s yet warmed to— and Tony Allen will also get minutes at whatever resembles the ‘one’ in Boston’s new-world order, Rondo has been anointed most likely. Could we pencil him in for 30 minutes a night? Let’s. So, what happened in the 25 contests in which Rondo played at least 30 minutes last season? 10.6 PPG, 5.8 RPG, 6.5 APG, and 2.6 SPG, that’s what. And, for a guy who can’t shoot a lick, his 45.4% is Diplo mad decent; a far better clip than Chris Paul, TJ Ford, Antonio Daniels, Carlos Arroyo, Speedy Claxton, and other small, deep-ball-challenged PGs could muster. Although many would proffer the opinion that playing alongside three deluxe studs like Garnett, Allen, and Pierce will curb Rondo’s output, it’s just as likely that the contrary will be true; and the presence of those three will allow Rondo to play in a more efficient, focused fashion than last season. With Garnett and Kendrick Perkins on the back-lines, Rondo will be free to be aggressive on the defensive end. Meaning, he could possibly post 2.5 steals every night. Where would those numbers have placed him, league-wide, if delivered last season? First. With daylight second. As it was, Rondo ranked 8th in the league in steals despite playing only 23 minutes a game and starting only 25 contests. At the very least, Rondo will pay value as a SPG specialist next year; but his triple-double potential could deliver so much more.

DORELL WRIGHT, Heat.
Time and again, Pat Riley’s shown that, as coach, he’ll take a washed-up veteran over a young stud any time he can; even if that veteran’s just signed mid-season, and is dead (Eddie Jones), dying (Kendall Gill), or just plain disinterested (Rod Strickland). This year, with the free-agent departures of Jason Kapono and James Posey, Riles finally has to start his young stud-in-waiting; the Heat’s other DW a rangy, slashing, defensively-minded swingman who boards and blocks shots like a big-man. Well, either that or Pat’ll play Penny Hardaway. But, my money’s on Riley finally waking up to his wondrously-talented wing, no matter what history says. When given the opportunity to play major minutes for the geriatric Florida Retirees last season, Wright showed enough stuff to go beyond flashes of potential. In an 18-game stretch as starter through December, Wright averaged 8.8 PPG, 6.8 RPG, 2.1 APG, and 1.0 BPG, even though Riley kept yanking his minutes around. Wright’s last game as a starter in that early-season run —and, unbelievably, he’d only get to start one more game for the entire year— was unspeakably monstrous: 21 points, 7 rebounds, 4 assists, 4 steals, and 6 blocks. Whilst it’d be pure pipedreamery to expect nightly totals like that, the fact that Wright’s due to receive major minutes on the wings —Daequan Cook is not ready for NBA court-time, and Antoine Walker seems the only other option at SF— means he’s due to become a productive fantasy player. The 15 times he played over 30 minutes last season, he averaged 12.0 PPG, 8.2 RPG, 3.0 APG, 0.9 SPG, and 1.3 BPG. Even more promisingly, in the games in which he was on court for 30+, Wright shot the ball at 51.7% from the floor; compared to his season average of 44.5%. With the lack of options on the wings, and Dwyane Wade seemingly set to miss the first couple weeks of the season, it’s possible Wright will have the chance to establish himself as a genuine starter. If he can get 30 minutes a night, the above averages are possible. At this stage, 11 and 7 with a steal and a block per game seems like all you could expect; those certainly decent stats for a guy you could probably get on a late-round flyer. But, given how young (still just 21!) and talented he is, the sky is really the limit for Wright. Depending, of course, on whether Riley actually deigns to give him the burn he deserves.